i guess the effects of leaving speedlight didnt really hit me until today. haha. im so sorry i didnt say goodbye properly. yanda and carol, you guys are really awesome cell group leaders man. i've never seen so much passion and patience from u guys. from p5/6? u guys taught me about God not only through books but through your actions as well. i will nvr forget speedlight camp 07. it was truly inspiring. thank you for giving me those opportunities to attend those sat lessons and all. i dont know if this is the correct decision. i cant think properly these days. vinnie just called me about camp purity. thanks for the opportunity. if i were still a speedlighter i would have taken up the challenge. but its too late to turn back now. and even if camp purity didnt exist, i dont think i will turn back. i really looked forward to camp purity though. i was so freakin excited to go. to go and experience GOD again. things look so clear after camps. i wanted to get rid of this anger. i wanted to learn to have faith again. im really scared now. but still i decided to leave. it wasnt a hasty decision though. i've been thinking about it for quite awhile now. i will definitely miss speedlight and lighthouse. how can i not? even though i made the decision to leave, it doesnt make it easier. im sorry. thanks for all the years of prayers, opportunities and support.